My new lifestyle...

Well, it's finally happened. My Mom has gone back to UT and Neal is back at work (he's actually been working the whole time Mom's been here, but is taking off 10 days starting Friday--woot!) and I am officially alone as a mom. It's so crazy! Since it's hard for a 2 week old to have a schedule, our days mostly consist of sleeping, grunting (him, not me usually), changing diapers, and nursing, which if you've done it you know it takes FOREVER each time-- sheesh! I'm waiting for my energy to come back, but I fear I may be waiting a long while... I am not good at taking naps, and the second I force myself to try to take one, he pops awake and wants to grunt/eat/stare at me/be changed. ALTHOUGH I did take Mom to Iwo Jima because she'd never been, so I think that's pretty good considering G was one week old!

Notice how I've already mentioned his grunting twice? Yeah, he grunts ALL THE TIME. At first we thought there was something wrong with him, now we mostly just think he's a grunting goat boy and might always be... he may grunt until he can talk, who knows? Anyway. Mom kept telling us, "no babies are EASY, but he really is a pretty easy baby!" He rarely cries and is easily soothed most of the time. He's really only been "fussy" for about ten minutes total since he was born, unless of course, grunting is being fussy, which I don't think it is. He is truly a joy to be around, and is the CUTEST LITTLE GUY in the history of the world, we're pretty sure.

I LOVE seeing Neal as a Papa too! He is so adorable with Gideon. I'm adjusting pretty well to being a Mom, I think. I really do feel patient with him, even in the middle of the night. (oh, except when he spits up in my hair and simultaneously poops on me, then pees in his own face while being changed-- then I just walk away from him and Neal takes over.) I'm still pretty emotional and drained, but since it's only been 2.5 weeks, I think that's to be expected.

All in all, it is a wonderful change. We already love him SO MUCH, it's crazy! He brings a lot of joy (and grunting) into our home, and we are so lucky to have him! We are also lucky to have so much support-- I might die without it all the meals, presents, visits, e-mails, texts, phone calls, etc. So keep it up, people!

Once upon a time....

I had an adorable baby boy! Many people have asked about the labor and delivery, so I thought I'd post 2 versions of the story.

The short version:

Gideon Robert McMillan was born on May 5th at 11:45 AM. He weighed 7 pounds 14 ounces and 21 inches long. He came out wide eyed and alert and stayed that way for 2 hours. He is so darling and we love him very much.

The very long/detailed version:

Tuesday night, may 3rd, I started having contractions 10 minutes apart around midnight. I was so excited at first! But then they didn't go away or get closer together, and from midnight to 10 AM I didn't get a wink of sleep because they were growing in intensity, just not getting closer together. Around 10 they slowed down to 20 minutes apart (just enough to prevent me from napping at all!) and this continued all day. Around 4 that afternoon, they picked back up to 10 minutes apart, but still never got closer together. The intensity was such that I couldn't talk through them, but had to be up and bounce on the ball, lunging, squatting, whatever I could to deal with them. I had called my OB and she agreed that I shouldn't come in until they were closer together. I was becoming increasing demoralized because these contractions were getting hard for me to get through. I had planned and prepared for a natural birth, and the fact that these "false" contractions were getting difficult was very discouraging. Around midnight, I started bleeding pretty heavily, and my OB advised me to go in to get checked out, but was doubtful they'd admit me because I had only been dilated to a 1+ on 5/3 and my contractions weren't close enough together to be the "real thing."

I woke up Neal and we drove to the hospital (after getting detoured in TWO (2) construction zones!!!!) and I mostly just felt nervous they would tell me I wasn't in labor and to go back home. I hadn't slept in 24 hours, and was not feeling very positive about ANYTHING! When the nurse checked my cervix, we were all astonished to discover I was dilated to a 5 and she said "you're gonna have that baby today!" I was SOOOO relieved-- so this WAS real labor-- I'm not a wimp! She asked if I wanted a epidural, and I declined. I was feeling pretty good at this point! So we were admitted at 1 AM and just excited and working through contractions. Around 5:30, my body started shaking violently between contractions, making it impossible for me to prepare for the next contraction (they were one minute apart now) and I felt like I had exhausted my energy supply. I had already labored for 13 hours naturally, and felt proud of myself. I told Neal I wanted an epidural, and he, trying to be supportive, suggested I get checked first to see how far along I was. When I was told "oh, you're a 6 now" I said "yeah.. I'm gonna need that epidural immediately!!!" Then the blessed anesthesiologist came in and gave me one, and I slept for about 45 minutes until I woke up thinking "I still have to push out the baby!!!!!" I felt exhausted and totally drained. The nurse put me on pitocin because I was stuck at an 8 for 2 hours and my OB came and broke my water.

Finally, I was ready to push. Everyone in my family has practically sneezed out a baby, so imagine my surprise when after 1.5 hours, I had made little progress (actually, I had made a lot of progress, but since I could only see a pea sized amount of his head, I was very discouraged!!!) I had been super confident and upbeat up until this point-- I was watching his head in the mirror and feeling great. For some reason though, after 1.5 hours, I just hit a wall and blurted out "I can't do it!" and started sobbing hysterically. It was so weird!!! It was like I was another person. The nurse and Neal were SO shocked because this came out of nowhere and I couldn't stop crying. Neal started getting emotional too, and wasn't much help (love you, babe) but the nurse looked me in the eyes and gave me an AMAZING pep talk. Unfortunately, it didn't help my weirdness go away, and I just cried and apologized for crying, felt super embarrassed and wimpy, and honestly felt I could NOT push out this baby. The nurse called in my OB for moral support, I think, and started breaking down the bed to the birthing position, mostly to make me feel like I was almost there. This worked a little, and I was able to push one more really good series. By this time-- enough of the head was out for my OB to tell that he was turned sunny side up, which was making it extra hard for him to come out (thanks for that, Gideon) and she assured me that if I could push once more, she would turn him over and he would pop right out. I really didn't think I could, so I just prayed and prayed and the rest is a blur. Neal says everyone was shocked at my next series of pushes (I think FINALLY the primordial instinct kicked in... I was waiting for it!!!) and the OB turned his head and he popped out and they put him on my belly.

It was the most surreal and amazing sight I have ever beheld. He cried for a few seconds, and then just kind of looked at me, wide awake. It was so precious! (Luckily, he distracted me from the after birth stuff-- are you kidding me? Pushing, pulling, prodding, poking, stitching?!?! I was like "LEAVE ME ALONE PEOPLE!!!") I suddenly exclaimed "I can't believe I just pushed him OUT OF MY VAGINA!!!" and everyone started laughing. Neal looked VERY relieved I was out of my weird zone, and the nurse hugged me and said "There's Hannah-- she's back!" Later, she told me she wasn't surprised at all that I had a hard time pushing a sunny side up baby for 2 hours, she was just surprised at my sudden lack of confidence-- so was I! It was truly so weird!!! I feel very positive about my laboring, but not nearly as positive about my pushing! SHEESH! Oh well, all is well that ends well, and this most certainly ended well. Seeing my son wide awake and alert staring at everyone was the most amazing moment of my entire life so far-- Neal and I have just been over the moon. So there you have it! And now some pictures:

Last pregnant picture! Taken 5/2

Feeling so relieved that I was dilated to a 5!!!

First family picture... we love him!