My new lifestyle...

Well, it's finally happened. My Mom has gone back to UT and Neal is back at work (he's actually been working the whole time Mom's been here, but is taking off 10 days starting Friday--woot!) and I am officially alone as a mom. It's so crazy! Since it's hard for a 2 week old to have a schedule, our days mostly consist of sleeping, grunting (him, not me usually), changing diapers, and nursing, which if you've done it you know it takes FOREVER each time-- sheesh! I'm waiting for my energy to come back, but I fear I may be waiting a long while... I am not good at taking naps, and the second I force myself to try to take one, he pops awake and wants to grunt/eat/stare at me/be changed. ALTHOUGH I did take Mom to Iwo Jima because she'd never been, so I think that's pretty good considering G was one week old!

Notice how I've already mentioned his grunting twice? Yeah, he grunts ALL THE TIME. At first we thought there was something wrong with him, now we mostly just think he's a grunting goat boy and might always be... he may grunt until he can talk, who knows? Anyway. Mom kept telling us, "no babies are EASY, but he really is a pretty easy baby!" He rarely cries and is easily soothed most of the time. He's really only been "fussy" for about ten minutes total since he was born, unless of course, grunting is being fussy, which I don't think it is. He is truly a joy to be around, and is the CUTEST LITTLE GUY in the history of the world, we're pretty sure.

I LOVE seeing Neal as a Papa too! He is so adorable with Gideon. I'm adjusting pretty well to being a Mom, I think. I really do feel patient with him, even in the middle of the night. (oh, except when he spits up in my hair and simultaneously poops on me, then pees in his own face while being changed-- then I just walk away from him and Neal takes over.) I'm still pretty emotional and drained, but since it's only been 2.5 weeks, I think that's to be expected.

All in all, it is a wonderful change. We already love him SO MUCH, it's crazy! He brings a lot of joy (and grunting) into our home, and we are so lucky to have him! We are also lucky to have so much support-- I might die without it all the meals, presents, visits, e-mails, texts, phone calls, etc. So keep it up, people!

Once upon a time....

I had an adorable baby boy! Many people have asked about the labor and delivery, so I thought I'd post 2 versions of the story.

The short version:

Gideon Robert McMillan was born on May 5th at 11:45 AM. He weighed 7 pounds 14 ounces and 21 inches long. He came out wide eyed and alert and stayed that way for 2 hours. He is so darling and we love him very much.

The very long/detailed version:

Tuesday night, may 3rd, I started having contractions 10 minutes apart around midnight. I was so excited at first! But then they didn't go away or get closer together, and from midnight to 10 AM I didn't get a wink of sleep because they were growing in intensity, just not getting closer together. Around 10 they slowed down to 20 minutes apart (just enough to prevent me from napping at all!) and this continued all day. Around 4 that afternoon, they picked back up to 10 minutes apart, but still never got closer together. The intensity was such that I couldn't talk through them, but had to be up and bounce on the ball, lunging, squatting, whatever I could to deal with them. I had called my OB and she agreed that I shouldn't come in until they were closer together. I was becoming increasing demoralized because these contractions were getting hard for me to get through. I had planned and prepared for a natural birth, and the fact that these "false" contractions were getting difficult was very discouraging. Around midnight, I started bleeding pretty heavily, and my OB advised me to go in to get checked out, but was doubtful they'd admit me because I had only been dilated to a 1+ on 5/3 and my contractions weren't close enough together to be the "real thing."

I woke up Neal and we drove to the hospital (after getting detoured in TWO (2) construction zones!!!!) and I mostly just felt nervous they would tell me I wasn't in labor and to go back home. I hadn't slept in 24 hours, and was not feeling very positive about ANYTHING! When the nurse checked my cervix, we were all astonished to discover I was dilated to a 5 and she said "you're gonna have that baby today!" I was SOOOO relieved-- so this WAS real labor-- I'm not a wimp! She asked if I wanted a epidural, and I declined. I was feeling pretty good at this point! So we were admitted at 1 AM and just excited and working through contractions. Around 5:30, my body started shaking violently between contractions, making it impossible for me to prepare for the next contraction (they were one minute apart now) and I felt like I had exhausted my energy supply. I had already labored for 13 hours naturally, and felt proud of myself. I told Neal I wanted an epidural, and he, trying to be supportive, suggested I get checked first to see how far along I was. When I was told "oh, you're a 6 now" I said "yeah.. I'm gonna need that epidural immediately!!!" Then the blessed anesthesiologist came in and gave me one, and I slept for about 45 minutes until I woke up thinking "I still have to push out the baby!!!!!" I felt exhausted and totally drained. The nurse put me on pitocin because I was stuck at an 8 for 2 hours and my OB came and broke my water.

Finally, I was ready to push. Everyone in my family has practically sneezed out a baby, so imagine my surprise when after 1.5 hours, I had made little progress (actually, I had made a lot of progress, but since I could only see a pea sized amount of his head, I was very discouraged!!!) I had been super confident and upbeat up until this point-- I was watching his head in the mirror and feeling great. For some reason though, after 1.5 hours, I just hit a wall and blurted out "I can't do it!" and started sobbing hysterically. It was so weird!!! It was like I was another person. The nurse and Neal were SO shocked because this came out of nowhere and I couldn't stop crying. Neal started getting emotional too, and wasn't much help (love you, babe) but the nurse looked me in the eyes and gave me an AMAZING pep talk. Unfortunately, it didn't help my weirdness go away, and I just cried and apologized for crying, felt super embarrassed and wimpy, and honestly felt I could NOT push out this baby. The nurse called in my OB for moral support, I think, and started breaking down the bed to the birthing position, mostly to make me feel like I was almost there. This worked a little, and I was able to push one more really good series. By this time-- enough of the head was out for my OB to tell that he was turned sunny side up, which was making it extra hard for him to come out (thanks for that, Gideon) and she assured me that if I could push once more, she would turn him over and he would pop right out. I really didn't think I could, so I just prayed and prayed and the rest is a blur. Neal says everyone was shocked at my next series of pushes (I think FINALLY the primordial instinct kicked in... I was waiting for it!!!) and the OB turned his head and he popped out and they put him on my belly.

It was the most surreal and amazing sight I have ever beheld. He cried for a few seconds, and then just kind of looked at me, wide awake. It was so precious! (Luckily, he distracted me from the after birth stuff-- are you kidding me? Pushing, pulling, prodding, poking, stitching?!?! I was like "LEAVE ME ALONE PEOPLE!!!") I suddenly exclaimed "I can't believe I just pushed him OUT OF MY VAGINA!!!" and everyone started laughing. Neal looked VERY relieved I was out of my weird zone, and the nurse hugged me and said "There's Hannah-- she's back!" Later, she told me she wasn't surprised at all that I had a hard time pushing a sunny side up baby for 2 hours, she was just surprised at my sudden lack of confidence-- so was I! It was truly so weird!!! I feel very positive about my laboring, but not nearly as positive about my pushing! SHEESH! Oh well, all is well that ends well, and this most certainly ended well. Seeing my son wide awake and alert staring at everyone was the most amazing moment of my entire life so far-- Neal and I have just been over the moon. So there you have it! And now some pictures:

Last pregnant picture! Taken 5/2

Feeling so relieved that I was dilated to a 5!!!

First family picture... we love him!

Spring Break and Easter

Spring Break, my amazing friend... last year Neal and I went to France, this year I stayed home and lounged all day. Equally enjoyable? Not exactly, but lounging was nice! Here is a picture of me looking HUGE (I really don't look this huge normally, or at least I don't think I do so shhhhhhh) for viewer enjoyment, and to illustrate why international travel wasn't in the cards for us this year.

I planned activities every other day--which was a very great idea. First outing was out to Cheesecake Factory with this girl: it was such a good time! I really miss working with her!
Second outing (excluding the carseat inspection debacle) was getting pretty toes with my favorite Rachels!

When I could no longer reach my toenails to paint them, I asked Neal if he'd give me a pedicure. He looks grossed out and told me he'd pay for someone else to do it... either way works for me! We also went out to lunch. It was a great girls outing! I also ran a few errands, mailed a package to my missionary brother, washed/organized all the baby clothes, had a dr appt, and did a LOT of lounging.... it was so lovely! I hope I'll be able to make it through the rest of this week working again starting tomorrow.. yikes!

Easter was a great day. Yes, I made Neal hide me an Easter Basket-- I love holidays. I think I get it from my mom. Since we're very good at finding hidden baskets, we simply hid a representative egg for each other to trade it for the basket. Neal hid mine in the uninstalled carseat (one of them, anyway) and I hid his buried in the flour bin. He said that was cheating when he finally found-- what a baby! How is that cheating?!?

Neal got me this basket at Michaels while we were dating-- he was very proud of himself!
It was a little hard to find a manly(ish) bucket for Neal, but I think this one is fine. Also I gave him that lovely Easter tie. I also insisted we decorate eggs-- we tried the tie dying with silk ties that everyone is raving about, but for whatever reason, they really didn't turn out. Luckily, we had plan B dye:

I know, mine is cooler. RIGHT?!?!

And to top it all off, we made a DELICIOUS Easter dinner last night. It was so yummy! We were so full I didn't even make the lemon bars I promised Neal... maybe I'll make some today!

This post might be more cheesy than usual.....

Okay, I know some of you roll your eyes at how lovey I am about Neal... if this is you, you might want to stop reading now. I don't know if it's the pregnancy hormones, but I've been feeling really, really, REALLY grateful for Neal lately. This will probably come as a surprise to him because I've yelled at him a bit more than usual lately too... I still can't figure out how these events coincide but they do, and I blame the pregnancy 100%.

For those of you who don't know, dating Neal required hard work and some stalking on my part--I'm embarrassed now about how shamelessly I pursued him. Exhibit A:

"I saw you at church, but you didn't say hi
so my Neal o'meter is running quite dry."

That's right, a poem AND cheesy... plus this was before we'd ever been out on a date! This was July 2nd, 2008, to be exact, and our first date was August 2, 2008--sheesh. But, there's more! Neal's response to one of my many e-mails, word for word:

"You are SUCH a stalker...merciful heavens! Why must you creep me out?"

I know, I'm ashamed. HOWEVER, as you can see-- IT WORKED! So the moral of the story is, it's okay to be a creepy stalker as long as it produces a husband--it worked for Machiavelli and it worked for me. I have never pursued anyone in my entire life, so I think it was good for me. It should also be pointed out that after our first date, Neal pulled out all the stops to woo me, it just took him a WHILE to actually ask me out. (and by a while, I mean 2 months of Hannah charm. Sheesh!)

Anyway the point of this blog is that I'm so glad Neal and I got married. It took him a *whole* SIX (6) months to finally get down on one knee... but I'm glad I was so patient about the whole thing, because marrying Neal has been the best thing to ever happen to me. Neal is the most patient and loving person I have ever met in my life (seriously) and he is also hilarious and loads of fun to be with. I could go on and on, but it suffices to say that I feel so grateful, and nigh unto emotional, to have Neal as my husband. I love him more and more every day, and I can't wait to see him being a Dad in a couple of weeks! He'll be awesome-- I would know, I hand picked him!

Our first date part one: August 2, 2008-- peach picking and a picnic at Great Falls Park

First date part two: Rodeo and movie. (Note disgusting facial hair... lucky for him I was already on the Neal train) Yes, our first date was an all day thing-- seriously 12 hours together with a shower/shave-gross-facial-hair break in the middle.

February 11th, 2009: Neal about to propose! Note the symbolic peach.

May 16th, 2009: Our wedding day! What a blissful, perfect day.

Last weekend: Still happy and in love nearly 3 years plus one (almost) baby later!

A little bit of this....

Well now let's see... what have we been up to since the last post? First and foremost, I am getting bigger and more uncomfortable by the minute, it seems! My little guy doesn't really understand the concept of shared space--sheesh! Now, people are always telling me "you can't be eight months pregnant... you are so tiny!" While I love this, pictures suggest otherwise! Exhibit A:

See what I mean? In no way could "tiny" describe me!!!! I comfort myself with that fact that from far away/straight on, I don't look as huge... Exhibit B:

Anyway, enough about that. In other news, my dear friend Melinda threw me a ward baby shower, and it was lovely! Delicious food, fun people, and loads of presents! Melinda also prepared a darling little quiz on the name Gideon-- so thoughtful and fun!

Since I'm being honest in this post (i.e. about my hugeness), I'll let you all in a little secret..... I am NOT photogenic AT ALL in candid pictures. Exhibit C:

I'm pretty sure I wasn't really crying in this picture-- I think this is more my "oh-so-adorable" face but... yeah.... candid pictures aren't very flattering for me, and now everyone knows it. Moving on.

We went to see the Cherry Blossoms this morning, and it was gorgeous!!!!

It's pretty cool to live in this area, I'm not gonna lie. Now, with my 8 month pregnant self, I told Neal it would be easier for everyone if we drove.... little did I know there was a 10k race this morning and EVERYTHING was blocked off-- Neal dropped my friend Rachel Wall and I off and then tried to find a place to park for about an hour. . . oops! Don't worry, I fully admitted it was a bad idea and next year we could metro to the blossoms. Luckily, Neal is the most wonderful husband ever and didn't even act annoyed at me at all! (To my face, anyway) I love this man! I mean, seriously, who wouldn't?!?! I shall leave you with Exhibit D:

Utah visit and baby G's shower

Well, my Aunt Shelley commented on how I haven't posted in a while, so it has inspired me to blog. Over President's Day weekend, I ditched my loving husband and flew to Utah for these two:

Clint Sattherthwaite is MARRIED! It was so great to be at their wedding dinner/sealing/reception and it was great to see my high school friends as well. See facebook for more pics, I'm too lazy to download them all here. It was also amazing to see my wonderful family!!!!! I miss being around my family so much--thank heavens Cali and Josh live by us! I loved seeing my squishy little niece:

and I loved spending time with my parents and siblings. I even got to see both sides of extended family too-- it was so nice! And Shelley's birthday celebration should be recognized as well:

The only bad part about the trip was that I got stranded OVERNIGHT in Denver because of weather in Salt Lake-- it was a NIGHTMARE!!!!! I did get a hotel voucher, food voucher, and 400$ flight voucher, but I would have rather just gotten to UT as planned! Plus, if you've tried to use a voucher, you realize what a ROYAL PAIN they can be.... arg. Oh well, as they say, all's well that ends well, so the trip was a success.

Shortly thereafter, my wonderful friend Kristine threw me (Gideon) a baby shower-- it was so much fun! Fortunately, Kristine hadn't even heard of the gross diaper games, so there was none of that--PHEW! It was simply good food, good company, and PRESENTS FOR THE BABY! It was awesome! I couldn't even believe how generous my girlfriends are, and how cute baby clothes are! My voice raised three octaves every time I opened something. I should have taken a picture of all the clothes, but alas, I did not... and now they're washed and folded. Just take my word for it--they are all DARLING!

I am such a lucky girl!!!

And lastly, a picture of me at 31 weeks (7 months--getting big, people!)

and for those of you thinking "man, she's so tiny" trust me, I'm not as small as I may look. Just today, one of my students exclaimed "Your baby is growing a lot bigger!!!" (as you can see, I have them trained to know that me getting bigger = the baby getting bigger, NOT my belly getting fat. . . it's a good trick for the self esteem!)

Did I almost end this post without so much as ONE picture of my one true love? Ahem.

Valentine's Day fun!

Last year Neal and I decided to do 2 Valentine's Day dates ... His and Hers. This is our second time doing it, and I would highly recommend it. (Although I hear once you have kids you can never do anything fun again EVER, so who knows!) As most of you probably know, I am a creature of habit. Example:

Neal: So should we try out a new French restaurant for Valentine's Day this year?

Me: I'd probably just rather go to the Melting Pot...

Neal: But we go to the Melting Pot fairly regularly, I thought we might try something different for Valentine's Day to make it extra special.

Me: But extra special to me is the Melting Pot because I know exactly what it will be like....

See what I mean? I would rather go to where I know I love, rather than risking it on something new. (yes, I always order the same thing, too... sue me!) So it won't surprise anyone to know that the "Her" date was the Melting Pot... and it did NOT disappoint!

Neal's date this year was going to the Newseum. He's been wanting to go for a while, but we (mostly me) find it hard to get downtown, even though we live 20 minutes away. But, for a "His" date, I mustered up the motivation to go and we had a lovely time. The baby also loved it, if loving something means kicking me under my ribs nonstop. I think he was trying to shake his pelvis like Elvis, as there is a special Elvis Exhibit right now. The Newseum was a lot of fun, but I did feel a little strange not to get emotional at the 9/11 exhibit... pregnancy has prevented me from crying over truly sad/upsetting/horrific events, and I can only cry for crazy reasons, such as my belly preventing me from lotioning my legs easily, dropping a molten cake on the oven door, or Neal eating more than his fair share of truffles. (Although the last 2 are arguably valid reasons to produce waterworks, now that I think about it....) We didn't take any pictures in the Museum, but this is the view from the top--note the Capitol Building between our heads.

On a side note, this coat is getting a *little too snug..... here I am at 28 weeks (6.5 months)

*and by a little, I mean I'm practically bursting the buttons.... c'est la vie!